My name is Mitch Smith, and I will be officiating the wedding service between my cousin the bride, Michelle Smith, and the groom Tom Rezpensky. I am truly honored that Michelle and Tom have given me this honor. And out of honor to these two lovers and to the holy matrimony of wedding two such lovers, it is my honor to present my fresh-off-the-presses certificate of deaconry to prove I am worthy of the honor of providing this holy matrimony of vows (I am permitted to perform one non-online service per year, so this is my wedding present to the soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Tom Razaprasnky. I didn't buy a card or nothing so you can keep this certificate as a memento. You're welcome):
I am a writing instructor who blogs on this site to reflect on my teaching, writing, and research.